Family Life After Cancer: Embracing the New Normal
Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges at us, and cancer is undoubtedly one of the toughest trials one can face. After my battle with cancer, I longed for a return to a normal family life. However, I realized that the person who emerged from the experience was different in many ways. I was no longer the woman my husband married 12 years ago, and neither was I the same mother to my children as before. Cancer is not over after your treatment; it is a lifelong journey. My family has had to adjust to the new version of me, but they showed me unwavering love, and together we grew stronger. Living with cancer, even after treatment, can be overwhelming, but I learned to seek out resources that provided support. I hope that my experience inspires you to keep fighting and to find hope in the midst of adversity.
Common Challenges and Coping Mechanisms
Rebuilding Intimacy After Treatment
You may struggle with body image issues, having numb breasts after your mastectomy and/or suffer side effects from Hormone treatment if you had a hormone sensitive breast cancer, such as dryness and painful sex and decreased libido. It may be hard to get in the mood, especially while also having to balance family responsibilities.
One of the most challenging aspects of life after cancer can be rebuilding intimacy. You may struggle with body image issues, have numb breasts after a mastectomy, or suffer side effects from hormone treatments, such as dryness, painful sex, and decreased libido. Balancing family responsibilities can make it even harder to get in the mood.
Understanding why these changes are happening is key to sexual health. Are you struggling with body image issues after treatment? Do things that used to feel good not feel good anymore? Do you experience pain during sex? Open communication with your partner is essential. Experimenting with new things and aligning expectations can help you find your way back to intimacy.
Consider seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. They can help restore vaginal health and address various issues. Remember, you may have changed physically, but your biggest sexual organ is your brain. If you struggle, seek out a sexual health therapist. You can find a professional at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). Another great resource is the app MeetRosy, a doctor-developed app that empowers, educates, and stimulates women by providing evidence-based practices for improving their sex life.
Breast Cancer Survivorship: Finding Balance
Balancing your own needs with those of your family can be challenging. As mothers, we often prioritize our children’s needs over our own self-care. Yet, maintaining a healthy lifestyle—including exercising, practicing mindfulness, cultivating meaningful relationships, and eating a well-balanced diet—is crucial for healing and reducing the risk of recurrence.
Understand that taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your children. Engage in a support network even after active treatment is over to give yourself time to heal. Seek out support groups where you find women who have gone through the same thing and are also parents. I highly recommend the support groups of Bright Spot Network, as well as applying for a free weeklong retreat at Little Pink Houses of Hope. These retreats connect you with other breast cancer families, allowing you to rejuvenate and connect with your family in a different way.
Keep communication lines open with your children and empower them. If your children are six or older, consider Camp Kesem, which offers free weeklong summer camps for children whose parents are affected by cancer. This community can provide support and understanding for your children. Read about my children’s experience at Camp Kesem here (coming soon).
Let others help you and let them know how they can assist. You may still feel tired and are getting used to life after treatment. Friends and family may be happy to help you during this transition.
Financial Support After Cancer
An unexpected cancer diagnosis often results in financial stress due to stopping work, reduced hours, or being a single-income family. Financial stress is just another “add-on” to what we are already dealing with, but we can navigate the system to find the support we need.
Communicate your financial distress to your care team. Many foundations, corporations, nonprofits, and generous individuals are committed to making the cancer experience more affordable and stress-free. Some of these organizations have income requirements, but many do not. Check my resource section for a variety of them.
Organizations like Do Cancer and Unite for HER support whole-person healing after active treatment has ended. You can also negotiate your bills with providers and hospitals. If you haven’t already, consider setting up a personal fundraiser for your family through GoFundMe.
Finding Professional Help
Making lifestyle changes after cancer can be tough. When my medical treatment ended, I spent eight weeks with a health coach to help me make these changes. I also saw a therapist to help with my emotional well-being. While not everyone can afford these treatments, organizations like DoCancer will sponsor sessions with a health coach or therapist after a cancer diagnosis. Connecting with other survivors through organizations like Little Pink Houses of Hope can also be incredibly beneficial. Read more here about my experience with Little Pink.
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